When the Unexpected Happens

On December 7th, 2011, at 10:54 (central time), my mother passed on.

It was sudden and so very unexpected.

My only consolation is that she did not suffer for a long time.

She died from complications of Leukemia.

Ummm. She was diagnosed with that at 6pm on December 7th.

Apparently, she had been feeling ill for quite some time but just never told anyone as she did not like people poking and prodding at her.

They were in the ambulance transferring her from St. Anthony's in Michigan City to Rush Hospital in Chicago.

She never made it. I believe she never intended to. I'm quite certain under 'normal' circumstances, my mother would not agree to undergo aggressive chemo and whatever else.

Her blood platelets were something stupidly low, like SIX when they should be in the 100s.

Her blood could not clot.

I spoke to her for a mere 2 minutes that morning. Asked if I needed to come up. Said no (yeah, that's going to work with me mom). Then abruptly asked that I call back that afternoon and HUNG UP on me. I sort of laughed, telling those around me that I could easily be offended by that.

I'm holding up as best as can be, I suppose.

My husband was so supportive in a way that I never expected him to be.

The moon shined so bright the whole time we were there.

It snowed the first snow that Thursday evening/Friday morning. I truly believe it was for me (my SIL said it was for her, whatever).

The day we left, it rained so very hard that evening. That, again, was for me.

The usual family drama over finances. I find it amazing that no matter what the situation, money has the power to control the situation.

Then the control issues reared their ugly head. Even in grief, we still feel the need to be in control.

There were no arrangements made ahead of time except she wanted to be cremated.

There was no money to had for that. Living on an extremely limited budget and not sticking to that same budget has very bad consequences, as we are finding out now.

Good things came too. We were finally able to get ahold of my enstranged sister. I have a voice mail message to call her when I get home. I did not speak to her, my brother did, I'm hoping.

I met up with my two aunts, who I've not seen in like forever (15 plus years). That was so very worth it.

I realized, yet again, the importance of pictures. In photo albums. Walking down memory lane at a time like this is definately beneficial to the soul.

Thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated on this end.

NOTE: I am back home now and so looking forward to getting back to my routine. I will probably hop back on the menu planning and other link ups next week. Thanks for your support.

Comments

  1. I am SO SORRY to hear about your mom,...I do know what that feels like, and I send you prayers in this anguishing time. Nothing but time will heal,....and thinking of the GOOD times,..no coulda, woulda, shoulda's. Chin up, and sending you many prayers and uplifting thoughts.

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