It's Not Easy

Being married.

I've been married going on 21 years (October) and I've been with Hubby since high school, so it's not like we don't know each other.

Yet, sometimes, we really don't. Or maybe we DO know each other, perhaps a little too well?

I've been being a snob to Hubby the past few days. There. I admit it. Out loud and in writing.

And I feel that I was within my rights.

He had said something to me the other night. Something totally out of line and for no 'apparent' reason that I could see.

It was uncalled for.

Hurtful.

And I took serious, personal offense to it.

And decided right then and there, that he should KNOW that would hurt my feelings tremendously. How dare he?

After 48 hours of non-committal responses and just plain not speaking any more than necessary, I finally told him that I was DEMANDING an apology for his remark previously.

He said No. That if I took offense, then there was truth to what he said.

HUH? I said fine. Let it be then. But said, again, that I took offense to the comment and well, he needed to consider just how that made ME feel.

This morning, as he was leaving, came to say goodbye and a kiss on cheek and small hug (as it is every single morning, regardless of attitude), and he stepped back and said ...

"I also would like to apologize for what I said the other night."

Tears sprang to my eyes, but not because I 'won', but because my first gut reaction, and the words that came out of my mouth:

"Thank you. But I still don't think you realize what you are apologizing for. That you really aren't sorry."

Nice.

And that makes tears come to my eyes again.  Because, see, Hubby isn't one to apologize. And that there is probably the number one reason.

Way to go.

I've since sent him an email thanking him for the apology and inserting my own apology for the reaction and not so kind words of acceptance. Did it fix it? No. But I'm hoping that it shows that sometimes, even when you think it's right, it's not.

Uggg. It's not easy whatsoever.

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